Just - For - Fun Corner
1.A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.... "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."... The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.... After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?"... "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
2.While on a tour conducted by the Head Nurse, the new hospital Administrator happened to glance into a patient's room. He was shocked to see a nurse giving the patient a hand job!... "What's going on in there!?", he demanded.... After glancing into the room, the Head Nurse replied, "Oh, that. That patient has a very rare condition. He must ejaculate every hour, or he'll die!"... Though somewhat irregular, the Administrator realized that he had seen stranger things in his time, so he continued the tour without further comment.... But when he looked into another room further down the hall and saw a nurse giving a patient a blow job, he exploded.... "And what the hell is going on in there!?", he yelled.... The Head Nurse looked into the room and calmly replied, "Oh that patient has the same disorder, but he has better insurance."
3.A woman called up a doctor's office and said to the nurse, "I'm missing my panties. I just wonder if I left them in the dressing room."... The nurse said she'd look, but came back and said, "I'm sorry, madam, but your panties are not here."... "Oh well then, never mind," answered the other. "I must have left them at the dentist's."
4.The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him. ... "Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes," answered the patient. "You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. I'm never sure I can remember where I put the car, or whether I answered a letter, or where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there -- if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?" ... The doctor mused for a moment, then answered in his kindest tones, "Pay me in advance."
5.Hedrick and Douglas, two doctors, were conversing in front of the hospital when two really attractive blondes came towards them.... "Here comes my wife and my girlfriend," said Hedrick.... "That's odd," said Douglas. "I was just gonna say the same thing to you."
6.Number of physicians in the US: 700,000..... Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000..... Accidental deaths per physician... 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services) ... Number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000..... Number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) 1,500..... Accidental deaths per gun owner: 0.0000188 ... Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. ...
"FACT: Not everyone has a gun, but everyone has at least one Doctor."
... Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets out of hand. ... As a Public Health Measure I have withheld the statistics on Lawyers for fear that the shock could cause people to seek medical aid.
7.Three doctors are waiting for St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. When he arrives, he asks the first doctor "Why should you be allowed into heaven?"... The first doctor replied, "I spent my whole career in medical research and made life better for thousands."... St. Peter seemed immpressed and said, "C'mon in, you are worthy."... He then asked the same thing to the second doctor who answered, "I renounced riches to work with the poor and made lives better for thousands." ... St. Peter again seemed impressed and invited the second doctor inside.... When he asked the third doctor what he had done, the doctor answered, "I worked for a very large and succcessful HMO."... St. Peter said to the doctor, "You may enter but you can only
8.This woman went to the doctor, wanting to find out about the latest weight loss program.... The doctor tells her, "Well- there is a new one that you can lose alot of weight with, and what you do is ingest everything anally."... After about 6 weeks, the woman walks into his office for a follow-up. She was walking a bit bent over, and was swaying her behind extremely from side to side... The doctor didn't even recognize her -- she had lost so much weight. "Mam- you look wonderful!"... She said, "Thanks, Doc. I have lost 150 pounds!"... The doctor said, "Great! Now let me see if I can do something about that limp of yours.... She said, "Limp hell? I'm chewin' gum!"
